There is a sadness in his eyes..

There is a sadness in his eyes...
But his eyes smile, they do, a lot.
What is it then, I see
Is it my questioning look
My searching for sadness
Hoping to find some loss
Some hurt..

He had lost a love.
A life.
He must hurt
I am convinced
I look for proof
I dig
I observe.

His smiling eyes
Are they mocking me?
Hiding behind the veil of happiness!
No they are happy.
Prodding me to smile some more
I laugh a little
Live a little.

I am careful around him
He has not spoken about it
Do I want the details
Yes..
No..I want to know how is he feeling..coping..
No..I want to know how is he happy
Genuinely.
Truly.

His eyes smile a lot
Deeply
There is love, hope..longing
Life..
Maybe I will ask him one day
How..why?
Maybe I will learn to smile some more
He is a good teacher
Infectious.

I smile a little more
My eyes smile a little less
Haltingly..
My sadness is reflected in his.
His looks at me.
Me.
Deeply.

He surrounds me with laughing eyes
I throw my head back and chortle
My eyes are smiling
His shine with mirth.


Written on 11th June, 2017.

(So I have discovered that when I read only then can I write Ideas, words start popping in my head.  Of course I have to have time to sit down, think and write. Of course I have written after a long long time. Also wrote this poem on paper first and at one go after ages. Though what you see here is an edited version. So how have you been? Happy? Sad? Listless? going about the motions? Not wanting to get in the details of the inspiration behind the poem. I think the people who have truly suffered loss are the ones who are also truly happy..or they learn to be happy or they appreciate or treasure the happy times more. Not all..maybe only a few.. Maybe there are just happy souls..innocent..childlike..cute..Actually that is the word cute..in the true sense.. Hope you have such cute souls around you. Happy Vacations !! :) I will see you when I see you)

Walk of Life

Stumbling,tottering and tilting
falling over
getting up again, unsure yet curious
All the time laughing.
smiling and learning.

Kicking around, jumping over,
sprinting and climbing,
scraping..hurting.
Always persevering.
stretching the limits,
achieving and exhaling.

Strolling, ambling aimlessly,
tripping, tramping..locking and unlocking
loving, playing, teasing, pursuing
Twirling.
swaying and spinning.
dancing away in the night.

Shepherding,guiding,
leading and being lead on.

Marching on,
always running but curiously staying at the same place.
trudging and plodding.
Scraping, scurrying,
looking behind never fondly.
Never ahead with awe.

Kneeling, bending with the weight.
stopping..almost..
steadying.
Heavy heart..lifting

Uplifting again..the soul, the mind
starting again..
slipping..tottering..
Smiling and learning anew.


Written on 31st January, 2016.

(Hello there..how is it going? Long time no see, no hear, no write.. We have gone beyond explanations now right??!! Like a bad penny that returns or more like if you love someone set them free and they do return !! :D  Believe me I tired..really..but could not write..not that I did not have the time ..though I was busy and have discovered you are more busy in your head than with work. I just could not write..came here many times started one or two poems..could not finish them..had no new ideas. Today too I came back as I have some time on my hands..what with being laid up in bed compulsorily. Relax not to worry too much..ankle sprain and ligament tear..so basically now learning to walk..self teaching this time around !!:)..and thought what about writing about learning to walk..and from there it went to how walking, and being on our feet, up and about..kinds of defines our phases of life..and hence the poem. I have written about hands as Links of Life  and this could be a kind of a parallel. Self inspiration..don't worry I am not going to write about any more body parts. And well, if nothing else there are a whole lot of synonyms to learn here ;). So in the process learnt to write again..and one more realisation dawned. Creativity needs discipline too. Hope I can translate this into other things in my life. That's a good way to start the new year too right..ya ya I know..but better late than never..Happy New Year !! See you around and keep walking.) 

Duniya mein do type ke...

Incident One : Caught a  radio auto for the railway station. Reached station. Got out to pay the fare. While taking out the money hit forehead with hand and touched a already hurting insect bite. Let out a rather loud cry of pain. The auto driver looked up with concern and asked what happened. Explained just a insect bite. He checked the auto for any luggage or item left behind and nodded his head. Said thank you and moved on. 

Incident Two: Do not use a pillow while sleeping. The pillow during train journeys usually end being put behind acting as head rest for the bed. In  the 2 A compartment  a young guy walked up coolly picked the pillow from behind head and walked away. By the time realization hit he was gone. Boiled with anger. Did nothing. Imagined a good fight in mind. Frustrated. Remembered incident one. Took a deep breath. 

Small inconsequential things. Just one question of concern. Just a damn dirty railway pillow. 

Written on 13th July, 2011.

(The title is a dialogue from the film Hum from a very famous drunk scene. Black, white or grey you decide or of no consequence you decide. Missed out June's post so this one for June. Hopefully will write another one this month. Till then Happy Monsoons !!!! :) ) 

Je Me Mi ....

Scarlet red and Inky blue,

Green trees and Primrose hues.

Glassy lakes and Frothy streams,

Crunchy snow and Scented expanses.

Long tresses over flowing dresses,

Elegant band around the wrist telling time. 

Wordy new worlds in my hand,and

Tricky questions to expand. 

Lyrical melodies through the night,

Playing keys of black and white.

Looking at life through pinholes,

Travelling afar happily burning soles. 

Celluloid dreams and

Piping hot steam from mi madre's dishes. 

Cups of memories and full of brown succor too..

and, Lengthy sessions of loquacity. 

Putting together imagination in parts and,

 The small picture, things and moments. 

Peeping from behind the fluffy white the lovely disc of love,

All that I wrote above and how ..

I love. 

Written on November 1, 2010. 

( Ok so even for me deadlines mean nothing .. and I am late by an hour and fifteen minutes for the October poem. Kudos to me. But here is it ... My favourite things and those which I love to do. My birthday present to me. Till we meet next ..Happy Deewali !! :) )

 

Links of Life

Small hand wrapped around a finger.

It pulls up small legs on their feet.

Catch them when they trip.

Small hands hug on tight after a fall. 

The fingers.. now all on call embrace, encircle, ensconce. 

Links of love. 

Sweaty palms, high fives and down lows.

Holding on edge to edge, wrist to tip.

Round and round they trip and slip.

Back slaps, pats and punches. 

Caress on cheeks , ruffling hair and fingers on lips.

Links of joy, of friendship. 

Folded palms, or hands raised in prayer,

Fingers crossed or making the cross.

Hands on heads giving blessings all across. 

Links of hope. 

Hands raised in greeting , or a chance meeting.

Sometimes raised in anger or regret. 

Or to take on the world with just a closed fist. 

With nothing in them only destiny and grit,

And the will to reach the final tryst. 

Links of life.

Written on 1st October, 2010.

( In the 18 months of this blog this is the first time I have been late in posting the monthly poem/post. Sorry about that !!! This is the September poem. Hands... so many gestures ..so many expressions and feelings. My favourite.. when a baby holds on to your finger. Her whole being around that one appendage of the whole human body, and as I had mentioned in my last poem a hand disappearing in another in love :) Till then ..and this time we meet sooner within this month. My month !! :) ) 

She Smiled

She smiled and took it,

She smiled and took it in,

She smiled and took it inside,

She smiled and took it deep inside,

She smiled and took it deep inside her heart,

She smiled and took the spear of pain,

She smiled and saw her heart cracking up, 

She smiled when her being fell about her in pieces, 

She smiled and started picking up the pieces,

She smiled and the looked up and the sun smiled back at her;

Brightly !!!!

(Putting the poems on the blog have made me realise that I did not give them titles earlier, and have to think of them now. )

Written in January 2000. (2000 has been the year of the greatest output of poems , mostly some lines strung up together, some decent.) 

Hall of Life

I don't cry because, 

My heart is joined by tears,

Tears warm, smooth and salty,

They fit in any grove,

My heart gives them enough room.

Room of laughter;

Why laughter you ask?

Laughter because true mirth brings tears.

Room of love;

Love the eternal reason for tears 

Those who get it cry and those who don't too.

Room of pain;

Pain, very natural you say,

Yes, but not of knife stabs but pin pricks.

Room of joy;

Joy not in reaching the stars,

But of meeting meteorites on the way and then leaving them.

There are many other rooms, interconnected;

Some closed, some open, some fictitious, some real.

But there is a Hall in which all these rooms open,

The Hall of Life.

Life with all its laughter, love, pain and joys.

And all these are joined by tears.

So now you know I don't cry, because I don't want the door of the,

Hall of Life shut on me. 

( I used to consider it my best poem till date , before Labour of Love came along. The later is many layered and I really like the metaphors and allusions used in it. This poem is simple, subtle and beautiful. That is why it gives it name to the blog. {I know I am very modest !! ;) } )

Written on 3rd May, 2000.